After 28 years of leadership I have discovered there is a key component that every leader needs to stop doing to find success. It's not just important to know what to do. It is equally important to know what not to do. We can read ten million self-help books and the majority will list 5 keys for this or 8 ways to do this, but very few will tell you what to stop doing in order to find success.
The thing that every leader needs to stop is negative self talk. Oh yes, this is a big deal. Knowing what to do matters, but know what to stop doing matters just as much. I have had conversations with hundreds of leaders in church, business, and non-profits across the country and you quickly discover the ones that self-sabotage with the words they speak to others about themselves.
Recently, I was with a leader that constantly talked down about where they are at in their business. I was shocked. They had experienced financial success, family success, and personal success, but it was not good enough. Success, to them, became unreachable, because they could not even see their current success. And if you cannot celebrate where you are you will never enjoy the journey.
I wake up each morning, walk into the restroom, and say, "I am the best looking guy in this bathroom." I am the only guy, but what am I doing? I am making a positive about myself. Then I will declare, "I am gifted, talented, called, anointed, and qualified for what God has put on my calendar today."
STOP THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK. The Bible declares, "The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you" (Matthew 12:37). There is more power in your words than in your performance. Oh, you may have to read that again. There is more power in your words than in your performance. "The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences" (Proverbs 18:21). Triumph is in your tongue! So, use your words to produce the world you crave.
STOP TALKING DOWN TO YOURSELF
Oh, this is something that every leader needs to stop doing. Have you ever found yourself saying, "I am such an idiot. That was so stupid." If we are honest, every leader would admit to some form of that statement. But understand you are the same total of what you say about yourself.
Stop saying what you are not good at or where you failed. Start declaring what your talents, gifts, abilities, and accomplishments are. You are better than you think, so start declaring who you are not who you are not.
STOP TALKING DOWN ABOUT YOUR TALENTS
This one is big too, because we get into the comparative narrative. That's when we compare everything about ourselves to somebody else. Stop that. Comparison is the enemy of joy. It will rob you of the joy of the journey. You have gifts and talents that other people do not have. "If two people were exactly alike, then one of them would be unnecessary" (Larry Dixon). That is a fact.
God broke the mold when He made you. There is nobody like you. Stop saying, "I wish I had the gifts they had" or "If I only could do what they do." No, God has given you everything you need to accomplish what He has designed you for.
STOP TALKING DOWN TO YOUR GOALS
There are many times that leaders think their goals are too small when they look at what others have accomplished. I have often found myself saying, after listening to someone explain what they have done, "Man, I have done nothing in my life." I have to remind myself: Stop doing that. You are not called to be them or do what they have done.
If you truly want to be successful stop talking down to your goals. You have them because you have them. If you set the goal that's because you believe that goal is in your scope to accomplish. Sadly, I have met leaders with big goals but little accomplishments. Be careful of the people who talk a big game but have little accomplished.
STOP TALKING DOWN. If you are living the life God has called you to, then celebrate. Run hard after the life, talents, dreams, & goals God has given you. Not the ones He has given to someone else. If you want to be successful then STOP the negative self-talk. Choose to build yourself up.
Scripture says this about King David, "He encouraged himself in the Lord" (1 Samuel 30:6). Today, start to encourage yourself - even if you are the only one doing it. It will change your life and help you see the success you are living each day.